DOTD6 B3 Typos

"get me to a save spot" should be "bring me to a safe spot"
the datapad has many "gigabyte" on it.. it should be "gigabytes"
and talking to the "door-computer" is kinda silly... the "door's computer" would make more sense

The doc is saying: "I want to get out of here. Yes, you get them when you brought me to a save place." Or what person do you mean?

Rest's corrected.

s3rius wrote:The doc is saying: "I want to get out of here. Yes, you get them when you brought me to a save place." Or what person do you mean?

Rest's corrected.

yeah that's the one... it kinda sounds bad with the "brought" too... but my english kinda fails me here... sometimes i wish i was native english... then i think about my french pride and think "fuck the internet's englich"

s3rius wrote:The doc is saying: "I want to get out of here. Yes, you get them when you brought me to a save place." Or what person do you mean?

It should be "Yes, you WILL (or You'll but this part isn't neccecary just looks more professional) get them when you HAVE brought me to a SAFE place." Sure, you can use SAVE aswell but then it would mean a place where he can save the game.

well got some quirky sentences again, from the loading screen... when you read it fast, it's not that bad.. but it could have some help with a nice guy like Lis ^_^

issue: The First sighting of the undead hostiles was at 16:15, 06Mar.
The situation went out of hand (i think somethign is missing here) before the local government could contain it's origin, the city had been overwhelmed by zombies.

The Special Reaction Team (SRT) was dispatched at 23:35, 06 Mar.
The 4th US Army Division was mobilised at 23:37, 06 Mar.

Orders: The SRT is assigned to secure and extract valuable inforation from the military science laboratory located in the north of San Francisco.

The STR is assigned to engage any hostiles that can prove a hindrance of performing the task of retaking the city through the help of the 1st US Army Division.

I bolded the changes... feel free to make it better than my poor english ^_^

actually those "The" and "was"'s don't have to be there, if those lines are in that form they don't need those addons xD (though its easier/clearer to read it that way, it sounds more common/ again, its an order for and from army so... )
dang it... feel like this comment won't bring in anything new xD

Leaving out "the" and "was" is intentionally. Looks more like a military order without them ^^".
The text might be a little confusing, thought ~ Gonna fix those. Shouldn't use texts without looking through them a second time..
Fixed all other mentioned typos, btw.

s3rius wrote:Leaving out "the" and "was" is intentionally. Looks more like a military order without them ^^".
The text might be a little confusing, thought ~ Gonna fix those. Shouldn't use texts without looking through them a second time..
Fixed all other mentioned typos, btw.

oh ok.. then i'll try rewriting it with more of a military-orders-type...

issue: The undead hostiles were first sighted at 16:15, 06Mar.
The situation went out of hand far too quickly for the local government to contain it's origin, the city have been overwhelmed by zombies.

Special Reaction Team (SRT) have been dispatched at 23:35, 06 Mar.
4th US Army Division have been mobilised at 23:37, 06 Mar.

Orders: As the SRT, you're assigned to secure and extract valuable inforation from the military science laboratory located in the north of San Francisco.

Rules of engagement:
The STR is assigned to engage any hostiles that can prove a hindrance of performing the task of retaking the city with the help of the 1st US Army Division.

Desccription changed to:
LOCATION:
San Francisco, California, USA

ISSUE:
First sighting of undead hostiles at 16:15, 06 Mar.
The situation went out of hand and major parts of the
city were evacuated. Aerial reconnaissance estimates at
least 15,000 civilian casualties.

Special Reactions Team (SRT) dispatched at 23:35, 06 Mar.
4th US Army Division mobilized at 23:37, 06 Mar.

ORDERS:
As the SRT, you are assigned to secure and extract
valuable information from the military science
laboratory located in the north of San Francisco.

You are assigned to engage any hostiles that can prove
a hindrance of performing your task of retaking the city
in cooperation with the 4th US Army Division.

s3rius wrote:

ISSUE:
First sighting of undead hostiles WAS (Since this first part is more like a "story" I'd prefer to add a WAS or otherwise it would not be a complete sentence. I would like to add a The in the start of the sentence. I.E. "The First...." But really these are minor things that isn't actualy wrong. It would just look more professional.) at 16:15, 06 Mar.

You ("are assigned" This can be change to "have been granted permission" Because then it's more like "If you would meet an hindrance." instead of "You will meet these exact hindrances" ) to engage any hostiles(Or hostilities) that can prove a hindrance ("of" I'd prefer "while") performing your task of retaking the city
in cooperation with the 4th US Army Division.

Ofcourse if you don't want me to correct these minor things just say it. I don't want to be a nuissance.

Arrr, well, I won't remake the loading screen again now that I've done it already. Somewhen else maybe..
At least it's no dramatic error, just rephrasing.

s3rius wrote:The doc is saying: "I want to get out of here. Yes, you get them when you brought me to a save place." Or what person do you mean?

Rest's corrected.

i wold ask if you acualy culd keep this " save" ass a secrett trigger if you wold, save in the park, and maybe an item or somthing pops up.

I guess that'd be a bit too much - but I am going to add a few easter eggs.